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This post was written for me by Betsy Henry at Zen Mama.com, a follow mom blogger. I just had to share it with all of my moms in case you have every felt like you had lost any part of you when you took on the responsibility of motherhood.  I can’t thank Betsy enough for her wisdom and her caring spirit. This is why I love my life.  Everyday one of you moms reaches out to another mom. I love the spirit of sisterhood we all share.

I read this in a social networking site called TwitterMoms today.  A blogger wrote:

“I lost track of me when I became a mom.”

I think all of us moms feel this way.  When you stay home with the kids you become:

Primary Caregiver

Housekeeper

Laundress

Cook

Chauffeur

And many of us work jobs outside the house as well.  For those of us who are married, we give much time to our husbands.  For those of us who are not, our life seems even more difficult with sharing the burden. And with each additional child, a little more of us seems to go.

Whoa, where is the optimist, the positive thinking Zen Mama??  I’m still here.  However, I often felt this way before I began to practice my Zen Mama principles.  So how did I change?  In comes my favorite saying:

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

I certainly changed the way I looked at things.  Am I perfect?  No.  I have definitely fallen off the Zen Wagon.  However, I now try to:

• have great gratitude for my children. I treasure them!

1. • enjoy all our moments together.
2. • see them each as individuals who might not want the same things from life as I dreamed for them.

•  to answer them positively.  I try to say “Yes!” whenever I can.  I hold back before saying anything in anger.

1. • have started telling jokes and riddles. I am listening to their music and reading their books to connect.
2. • have stopped nagging.
3. • have great, unconditional love for them, all three.

The preface of How To Be A Zen Mama introduces the reader to the Young Mother who has lost herself and is about to study under a Zen Mama Master. It is the first of my Zen stories that accompany each chapter.  Here is the Zen story of the Young Mother who has forgotten who she is:

There was once a young mother who was lucky enough to study under a Zen Mama. The Zen Mama appeared to have

all the wisdom in the world. The young mother was willing to be a great mother. All she lacked was confidence and experience.

“Zen Mama, help me!” pleaded the distraught young mother. “My children and I are suffering. I am overwhelmed with my job, my housework and all the driving I am doing. I am angry all the time. I have stopped laughing with my children. I need to be a better mother. I don’t even know if I’m the same person I used to be.” When the Zen Mama said nothing, she began to walk away. When she’d gotten some distance, she heard the Zen Mama call out her name and she turned.

“Young mother, you still turn when I call your name. You are still you. No one truly can understand the warmth of summer without having delved into the depth of winter’s cold.”

And with that the young mother began to meet with the Zen Mama often.

Original post http://www.zen-mama.com/www.zen-mama.com/Zen_Mamas_Blog/Entries/2010/6/14_I_Lost_Track_of_Me_When_I_Became_A_Mom.html

Tags: Blogging Bloggers Mom-Blogs, mom-stuff, Moms, www.mom-stuff.com, Zen-Mama

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 6:03 pm and is filed under Inspirational. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.