Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

What Woman Really Mean

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Mom-Stuff.com tips

WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN

(when they say…)

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right

and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five

minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes

to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and

you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end

in fine. (more…)

The “Middle Wife” by an Annonymous 2nd Grade Teacher

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

A laugh for you from the mom-stuff team. Have a great day! Story came from http://homeandholidays.com The is a fun site with good content.

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. (more…)

Why Woman Are Crabby

Friday, June 12th, 2009

We at www.mom-stuff.com would like to make you laugh today.

We start our jounery  into womanhood with the’buds’ in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John . Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary’s Baby . (more…)

Never Argue With a Woman

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

One of my mom-stuff friends emailed me this funny story. I had to share it with you. It will make you laugh and brighten your day. Share it with the smart woman in your life.

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap…

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace amd solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside of the woman and says “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

You’re in a Resricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.” (more…)